Where’s the line between helpful behavioural design and stripping autonomy?

Lauren Kelly

Behavioural design can change lives... or light a match under user trust.
The gap between “support” and “manipulate” is thin. Cross it and you get short‑term metrics but long‑term backlash. Stay on the right side and you earn habits, loyalty, and referrals.

Anchor Everything to ITE

Intent – Transparency – Exit

Intent. Who benefits first? If the honest answer isn’t “the user”, stop.
Transparency. Would a new hire spot the nudge at a glance? No? Expose it.
Exit. Can users decline or undo in one step? If not, you’re stealing autonomy.

Write these in the brief. Review them in every design critique. They’re non‑negotiable.

Plot Friction × Freedom

Grab a whiteboard. Draw two axes:

Friction (Easy ↔ Hard)
Freedom (Constrained ↔ Open)

Aim for low friction + high freedom. If a flow drops anywhere else, ask why and fix it.

Apply the VRP Checklist

Helpful defaults are fine. Hidden lock‑ins are not. Use the VRP checklist:

Visible. Option and impact shown upfront.
Reversible. One click to change mind.
Proportional. Effort to opt‑out = effort to opt‑in.

Run every flow through VRP before launch. If a step fails, re‑work it.

Measure Felt Control, Not Just Clicks

Most teams celebrate spike charts. Then wonder why churn follows.
Add a one‑liner survey at key moments:

“I felt free to choose.”
✅ Yes ❌ No

Track the percentage. Drop below 85 % and your design is eroding autonomy—no matter what the conversion graph says.

Stress‑Test Under Deadline Pressure

Scenario: Launch in 48 hours, bosses shouting for numbers.
Trap: Someone suggests hiding the opt‑out to save sign‑ups.

Counter‑move:

Pull up the ITE sheet.
Ask, “What does this do to exit friction?”
If the answer is “increases it”, veto the change. Non‑negotiable.

Deadlines change your behaviour; your principles stop them changing ethics.

Add Autonomy Protection Into Workflow

Design spec template. Add ITE and VRP sections.
QA checklist. “One‑tap opt‑out?” must be ticked before release.
Team ritual. Five‑minute autonomy review at the end of each stand‑up.

Make autonomy everyone’s job, not a last‑minute compliance tick.

Pocket Rules

Default ≠ Dark Pattern. It turns dark when the exits hide or hurt.
Conversion without consent costs trust, and trust costs more to rebuild.
Would I feel tricked? If yes, so will your users. Change it.